Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Monday, August 30, 2010

Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

"If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal."- Rob de Castella, winner 1983 World Marathon Championships.

I think I have just gotten over the 'being in trouble part'. I did not feel bad at 10 miles.

We were supposed to do 18 miles. I just stopped at 17.5 miles. My legs could not carry me any further. I was completely fatigued out. I was fine till mile-13 and this was my first long run wherein I did not take a walking break till mile-13. Even after that short walking break, I was okay for another 1.5 miles. But after that it was like I had no energy left. I was completely fatigued out. I ran into Amol and another friend SK (they were on bikes) at mile 14.5 and had more water and a gu gel. But it did nothing for me. I knew that I had just another 3.5 miles more.....but they felt like forever. I kept breaking into run-jog-walks. It was horrible and my legs felt completely disconnected from my body. They felt like jelly and each step felt like I would wobble over and fall. Amol was with me the whole time and he could clearly see my plight. And then at mile 17.5, I could not go any further. I knew that I had just another 0.5 miles to go.....but my mind gave up on me that day. First my calves, then my soles, then my back and knees and finally my mind. It could not edge my body to go on. In retrospect, I am so angry with myself for not finishing the last 0.5 miles!

The good part: 
  • I did not break into a walk till mile 13. That is such a major improvement for me. 
  • At least I ran as much as I had run last week.
  • Recovery was real good this time. After the run, I went home and had an ice-cold water bath. In the evening I stretched again and used the foam roller. Sunday morning I repeated the stretch and foam roller exercises and was out and active the whole day. Monday morning I could even go for a short 3 mile run. The ice, foam roller and regular stretching really helps.
The bad part:
  • I gave up.
  • I did not finish 18 miles.
  • Did I mention....I gave up!
I hate it that I gave up! I had to post about this huge failure as I am accountable to all my readers, donors, motivators and friends. At that moment, stopping felt like the right thing to do, but the awful feeling of guilt is still there! And I hate that awful feeling..........